Pete: How Did this Happen? Love!

I don’t Know where it all began with Pete. It came from “out of left field”. That figure of speech. I been around him in my circle of friends or acquaintances..but never thought, “this guy and I go together”!

I met him when I moved to a new town and was still in an old, now -over relationship. I knew Pete was never feeling “Good”, he had physical illness issues, I heard about, but I never got much out of I never spoke much to him..cause when I tried..he would moan..”ah”..”alright”..To ANY question I asked!!!

ONE DAY..Pete sat with me and my good buddy Dave and laughed hysterical as I ribbed on the poor guy..He then told me “Tracey I fell in Love with You that night”..That was after meeting him 9 months earlier!! He then would buy me cookies, out of …..nowhere, throw them at me as I lay writing for

Twitter and Facebook on my Page Celebritypoopoo, and scare the crap out of me!!

He was funny with me, he always thought of me..he got my sarcasm, he would listen intently to my  nagging and complaining about everyone we knew! He would actively pursue my attention. I would say “Pete, In am not going to give you ANY so stop TRYING” AND you could see he was not listening!! 🙂

SOON MY RELATIONSHIP, of 7 years was over. Pete sat there stunned at the fact I wasn’t engaged and happy anymore.He admitted he envied my now ex. He actually felt bad for me.That was admirable. He didn’t hit on me at all. But yeah our friends in common did! Soon after I did go on a date..but I already had the hots for “Petey Pie”. We already would stay up late with our friends and joke around, laugh til the wee hours..and gee, when he began liking another female, gee, I let him know she wads trouble!

So, I had to find out that Pete wouldn’t make the first obvious move..after my perilous chatty flirting, after our fun late night laughs. After his heartbreak over that bad chick..after the guy I dated a couple times was a dud! I just said to him “Hey Pete, You and Me”! And his face lit up and he  like he was the “Cat that ate the canary”!

Since then, with fate on my side and his has been a real ride of good times. Passion and Love. Different from anything I ever had before. I don’t know what will happen but I thank Pete for the here and now.


Parallells of My Dad & My Exes

Case and point, I won’t ever find anyone like my DAD.

Okay, yeah, roll your eyes. Sigh. Go, “yeah, another woman with a “Daddy complex”.

But, I don’t mean it, THAT way.

I mean, a man who is loyal, who looks at me the way my father looked at my mother til the day he died. He looked at her with pride. He looked at her with gratitude. With lust. With zeal. He looked at her like she was the only woman he knew could ever satisfy every urge, his appetite, his intellect, his comfort, and his sexuality. I thought I did find that man. I even put the “Ring on it”. But, to no avail, I had to “take the Ring off it”..and it was of my own choosing.

Where do they warehouse that voodoo potion he was born with in 1938? I can’t even ask my relatives on that side, cause, well, they are all dead. My Fathers, father, my grandfather, was NOT, like him at all. He liked woman, of ALL types. He made my grandmother miserable with his roving eye and I think my mother appreciated that my father hated that about his own father. Well, yeah, look what happened. My father was faithful for all 42 years til he died in March of 2013.

The only time my father was unfaithful was in his fantasies. Which I can understand. So did my mother.  I have my own fantasies  of Men. I dream of Joe Mangianno, from True Blood, coming to me and making me such a bad, bad Were-Wolf-lady. Grrrrr.

I always encouraged my boyfriends fantasies. I even shared in them. I don’t hate porn. Why should I. I wish I had the guts to tape it myself. Shit, if only I had the body and the confidence..but NO. I have tooo much pride. And an education. So, no.

But, I love being friends with men. I always found I could communicate wth men better cause I could joke around and not get scrutinized about it.Women get all emotional and stupid about jokes. I can be lewd and screwball with my male counterparts. Woman , not so much. Sorry, not even Female comedians can take it as far as I can. Seriously.

I even get tired of men at some points. Sometimes I want to use them for one main thing. I wanna be a “she whore”, do the modern girl-gigga thing. I did that through my twenties after living with a couple of “assholios” . I dated and “lated” them. I get my self esteem from playing games. Then after 30 I settled on one guy when my self esteem was low. But then I became stronger and I guess he didn’t like that much.

I thought was being supported by my now, ex-fiancee’. Through my up-to-the-minute tragedies of late. My father was my constant bestie. My #1 Man in the World. I always told him that. He warned me about the male labido. About how he even would love and leave ’em.

His one analogy was, “if all they want is a warm hole, punch one in a wall and say “there ya go”.

Wow Dad, it didn’t quite work that way, but it did stick with me. I did look out for those losers along the way! Met them too.

My Ex now, is an ex for a reason. He became a bit jealous of my new self awareness. My new self esteem.My new renewed joy in life. That he wasn’t my only focus.

Now, my Dad was married to my mother, a talented woman who sang for a living.

He even managed her career. He got jealous plenty. They would break up and make up. Whoa, would they break up! and MAKE UP!!! Drama city!

I been there too! Plenty with relationships. But ,really..I don’t want to waste time. I don’t have a child to think of like they did. I don’t have that responsibility.I am my responsibillity.

Wow, I guess just blogging this, I just figured out ….

ONE Thing..

I am my own responsibility. All  that matters is ME.

Fuck him. And if I don’t find…THE MAN.


And so WHAT for you and for anyone out there?

Ourselves ..we..Me, myself and I .

That is